So CNN has a story titled, "Too broke to be your maid of honor," and I have to say, I'm stunned by the things that are assumed to be the role of bridesmaids. I was a bridesmaid last year for an out-of-state high school friend, and I thought she was quite reasonable. There is always the expense of the dress, and I wasn't able to fly from DC to Minneapolis for her bachelorette party, but she didn't hold it against me in any way.
I'm still new to this whole "wedding" thing, and not because I've never been to one. I've been averaging 7 weddings a year since I turned 24. Lots of them require hotel rooms, rental cars and plane tickets, but I guess I don't worry over this expense because it is a big deal to be invited to watch someone share in this moment. (Also, I cry at weddings even if I'm just the plus one, because I am genuinely moved watching one person commit their life to another).
I am new to planning a wedding, and I think it's really important to be considerate of the other people who I want to participate in this big day. This means not being upset if they can't attend a shower, or whatever. It means being kind when selecting bridesmaid dresses - can I tell you how weird it is to have to dress your friends??? It means not making ridiculous demands on people who love you just because you can. I'm fairly certain that if I decided my friends needed to wear flamingo dresses with feathers, that they would derride my taste behind my back but wear the damn thing if that's what I wanted. However, that doesn't mean that I need to be cruel.
SO to my bridesmaids, who I have not selected yet apart from my sisters as my maids of honor, I promise:
- To not get mad if you can't fly to where ever for my bachelorette party
- To not expect gifts for each shower and party that is thrown. I kind of feel like buying a dress you will never wear again is gift enough
- To not make you wear something ridiculous
- To not make you have prom hair - I hate that
- To understand that it is a big deal for you to stand next to me when I get married and will appreciate your attendence
Just as long as you realize that I will inevitably will have some type of crazy breakdown in the next 14 months and will need your support and understanding. I chose you because I love you, and not as a way to torture you, I promise.