I had no idea how easy it would be to maintain a wedding blog, particularly because the media lOOOVVVES to rip on brides. Salon tells the tale of a...I know, wait for it, a demanding bride! I mean, that is practically the point of channels like WE and Lifetime. Back to Salon's piece on how I'm going to suck.
Let's see, in this one, the bride, who is now wealthy wants multiple showers in different cities.
As if the three destination bachelorette parties -- one in Santa Fe, one in Chicago and one in South Beach, Fla., which all the bridesmaids were expected to attend at their own cost -- weren't enough, the bride-to-be also told Foreman to set up a PayPal account for her wedding gifts and to encourage guests to make monetary contributions.
I bet that if asked, the bride probably didn't expect each bridesmaid to attend each of these celebrations. She likely has friends in each of these cities and was trying to accommodate them too.
One of the examples of crazy given is a Mormon wedding.
"One woman, who was asked to be a bridesmaid in her Mormon friend's wedding, found out on the morning of the wedding that she wasn't actually going to be allowed inside the temple because she wasn't Mormon," says Agrell. "Her job as a bridesmaid was to stand on the front steps of the temple in her full bridesmaid's outfit and ask those who showed up, 'Are you a believer in the Church of Latter-day Saints?' She had to make sure that non-Mormons, including the bride's father, who had been excommunicated, did not get inside."
I'm not quite sure that following another person's religious traditions really qualifies as crazy.
Another is obviously the bridesmaid dresses:
Her friend had sworn that she "was not going to be one of those brides, that the bridesmaids could wear whatever we wanted, that there would be none of that Jessica McClintock bullshit," recalls Brown. Two months later she received an e-mail from the bride-to-be, saying that she'd purchased yards of fabric in lime green, and would her bridesmaids mind designing their own dresses and getting them tailored. "It went that fast," explains Brown. "She sold it like it was normal, and it took me a while to realize the bait and switch that had occurred."
Seriously, have you ever tried to dress your girlfriends? I'm not kidding, it is weird. You really want them to look good, but they are not clones of each other. When you go shopping with these ladies how often do you all go dashing for the same dress on a rack. Never? You are correct. I promise, the majority of brides are not trying to torture their bridesmaids. Ladies, just for fun, call a ladies night for tomorrow evening, and pick out what each of your girlfriends has to wear. Yeah...it's that weird.
The article goes on to talk about over priced bridesmaid dresses, how the image of Bridezilla is so prevalent in our celebrity-fascinated culture, and points to a bunch of people who have written books on this cultural phenomenon, blah blah blah.
I'm going to stand up for the Brides. Since I have been engaged, people have told me how it is my day, how it is my opinion on everything that counts, and how I should just make myself happy on the "Happiest Day Of My Life." And while this sentiment is well meaning, it is often followed up with advice, traditions, things other people have done. And I don't take offense to things like this.
My problem is that everyone has expectations about what a wedding should be, not just the bride. Often the bride is trying to make a LOT of people happy, not just her. She is balancing her own weird family with her future hubby's weird family issues (we all have weird families, let's just get that out in the open too), the sheer cost of wedding accoutrement's, and the media laughing at her for wanting to create this day that is supposed to be the "Happiest Day Of My Life." Frankly, I'm surprised that all brides just don't give up and chuck the whole thing.
So here's to thebrides - You are not crazy. The expectations of the Wedding Industrial Complex are.