Rant: Sleepless in Borderstan

Crossposted from Borderstan, my local blog Someone once said that the night is darkest before dawn... Okay, I swiped that from Batman, but for many of us, 4 am is an hour we do not want to see during the work week.  Unfortunately, my personal joker is an evil paper delivery guy who needs to be awake at 4 am—and he is taking us with him.

For the past month, I have been at war with the paper guy who plays ridiculously loud music a few times a week, usually between 3:50 and 5 am. At this point I feel like I am part of a Chevy Chase flick, because I am sure that said paper guy has no idea that we are at war. After opening my window and glaring at him—which somehow proved useless, I decided I needed to do something. I need sleep!

I'm a reasonable person, and when my stare of death from my 2nd floor apartment failed to strike fear into the paper guy's heart, I called the Washington Post, to see if they could make this stop. After establishing that I am not a customer, but that my neighbors are, they gave me the distribution center phone number.

I called them, and we determined that it was not their guy, as he drives a white van, not a brown four-door sedan. He blamed The Wall Street Journal. So I called them, and they asked if I would like to subscribe. They told me they would relay my message.  Neither of these things happened.

As this continues into week two, I realized this might be a police matter.  I called the MPD District 2 station and they told me to call 911 when this happens.  I was brought up a nice Midwestern girl, where we do not call 911 unless SOMETHING BAD is happening. So, while my paper guy is making me insane, I'm not sure that this qualifies as SOMETHING BAD.

Instead I emailed the nice officers (and Lieutenant and Sargent) mentioned on this blog.   They said they would be on the lookout, and that I should really just get over it and call 911. (They said it nicely of course). I called 911, and it was very clear that the 911 lady did not think I should be calling 911 for this. At least we agree on something. But I am still not getting any sleep because of this paper guy, so back to email.

As we enter week 5 of this morning menace, Sgt. Phillips gave me his cell number to call instead of 911. I wanted to give him a shout out because he is 1) great and 2) understands that my small cry for sleep is really really aggravating and is a quality of life issue. He gets this  so much that he gave me a better way to call. This is community policing at its finest, and I wanted to publicly recognize that the Borderstan members of the DCPD are going above and beyond for our neighborhood.

However, I bring my plea for a full night's sleep to you, Borderstan. I cannot be the only person affected by this (on the 1500 block of Corcoran NW). Help me in my quest; if you subscribe to The Wall Street Journal, or whatever paper this guy drives for, please request that he stop playing terrible music at 4 in the morning.

And while I suspect that the driver is a nice person, this is war, and I'm grouchy from lack of sleep.

Help!

UPDATE:  The fantastic DC police has chatted with my paper guy, who works for the Washington Times, and I have not been woken up since.  Now I am left perplexed  that there are Washington Times subscribers on my block.