Ahhhhhhhh....back from my fave yoga teacher's class. I haven't been in about 3 weeks, but sometimes you just need to get in the right mood to get out of a rut. When I came home from work, I immediately put on my yoga clothes, even though class wasn't for a few more hours. I tried to get in the next available class, but it was full, so I shot for the 8pm class. It was just what I needed to remind my muscles and my mind how much I need yoga. In the past, yoga had been my escape from other things going on in my life, but today it felt like something additional - something I was doing for the pure joy of seeing if I could in fact still do a respectable crow pose. Turns out I can, and for longer than I remembered being able to do crow pose. This, I believe, has more to do with the fact that I forgot to be afraid that I could tip over and smash my face into my not-very-thick yoga mat. Why this was in my head in the first place is beyond me. I have never ever seen or heard of this actually happening, but for some reason, it was a challenge for me. And like many poses we attempt in yoga, it has less to do with physically being able to do the pose than mentally being able to do the pose.
I think it was this same fear that had been keeping me from a number of changes I needed to make. I knew I needed to change jobs. It wasn't that this job was a bad job - it just wasn't a good enough fit for me. I believe by making myself open to the possibility that there was a better fit for me, that I was able to find one. A speaker showed up in one of my grad school classes during the spring semester, and I literally felt the earth move. The speaker was trying to create something so exciting that I needed to be a part of it. I invited him to lunch, and we discussed his plan, and after a few more meetings, I am now running this new program. I don't really like to discuss my job on this blog, because everyone has the inevitable bad day, and I never want this to be the place I vent about it - which in many cases leads to people's dismissal from said job. But I will write a little about the culture of this new gig in a future post, only because it is so different from what I and many people have experienced in terms of employment.
I went to a workshop last week held by Creatuitive Coaching. This business was started by a friend following her time in my grad school program. She had two activities for us to participate in. In the first, we had a sheet of paper with a variety of aspects of one's life listed. We each had to describe, in as much detail as would come to us, what our perfect scenario would be. So for instance...what is the perfect morning look like, etc. Not only did I discover that I might secretly be a morning person, but I also was making breakfast for a pile of nonexistent kids. Her next activity was a mind mapping exercise. This single sheet of paper may have given me the courage to get back into thesis mode. All we were doing was taking a very large or daunting task - my thesis - and breaking it into tiny, doable steps. So this post is part of my homework from that class. Writing for 5 minutes every day, whether that be here or some place else is an easy step that will eventually lead to a bigger outcome.
So here's to the baby steps that are leading me some place new. The next three months are going to be a big adventure. Wedding planning will shortly be replaced with being married. I am six days into a really interesting new job. I have to go back to school in September, and I will likely return with a started thesis. Stay tuned!