So yesterday was August 12, which means it is exactly one month until our wedding. If I'm being perfectly honest - and why wouldn't I be - I am in a weird stressy place right now. Money is a weird issue for Groom and I. We are both in start-up organizations with little security right now. Groom is starting his own consulting firm, and I am developing a new organization from scratch for a dynamic nonprofit leader. Time is an issue. I have so much I should be doing with my new organization, and September is the launch of my first project, so being gone for three weeks is a little challenging. I start classes again at the end of the month, only to miss the first few weeks. I'm not sleeping from the stress and I'm incredibly sensitive to the smallest things. I'm not really stressed about finalizing wedding details. Our plans were not over the top, super detailed, or anything that we couldn't handle. That said, there are still things that need to get done, and I'm a little worried about trying to get them all done in a way that makes me happy. It turns out, I'm a bit of a control-freak perfectionist (Stop laughing, readers, I really thought I was laid back).
In the midst of all of this stress, Groom keeps trying to put everything into perspective. "It's just one day" or "get your work done, no one will care if there aren't any flowers." Things like this, that, some days seem completely reasonable and soothing, or when I'm not being reasonable, seem insane and make my head explode. The one thing he is doing, though, is reminding me why we are doing this.
Yes, we are both stressed about work situations, but we are in it together. Yes, we need to work a million hours, but it won't be forever, and we're both doing it. Sure, we should really hurry up and get wedding rings, order gifts for the wedding party, work out the table arrangements, send the vet papers to the doggie summer camp, figure out how to get legally married, and about 7 other things I can't immediately scroll to on the "to-do" ap on my new iPhone. But this isn't the part that lasts. None of this is going to last - the only thing that will last is that Groom and I are in this together. This might be the only thing I can count on in the next 30 days, but it's the one thing that keeps me from hiding under my covers when the alarm goes off at 6:30 every morning.
I'm looking forward to a chill weekend, in which I plan to do fun wedding stuff, nap, read, knit, and go to yoga. Groom and I are going to take a stab at writing our ceremony. The following week is my bachelorette party, and then it's two weeks until we board a plane for Rome for our wedding. The sad thing is that that part won't last either - but Groom? He and I are in this together.